Maple Bacon Funyuns Treats - maple marshmallows, funyuns, and bacon bits dipped in peanut butter and chocolate.

Maple Bacon Funyuns Treats

Maple Bacon Funyuns Treats - maple marshmallows, funyuns, and bacon bits dipped in peanut butter and chocolate.

You might be thinking that this is the product of a funny drunken story, but the truth is that we came up with these while we were sober. Which is just more evidence to support my theory that I may be more functional as an alcoholic.

These really didn’t need to exist. See, savory Rice Krispies treats still have some level of acceptability in that quirky way, like “Hey, you can now enjoy that fun childhood snack – adultified!”

What we did has nothing to do with that. We went full circle on that idea, passed the childhood snack, passed the young adult snack, passed the fanciful high-end recreations involving bourbon and garden herbs, and then we arrived at some space in-between: this snack is like the kind of self-assured, greasy pre-adulthood that seeks fulfillment solely from consumption.

In other words, like teenagers, these Fatty-Salty-Bacon-Maple-Syrup-Sugar-Marshmallow-Funyun-Treats hold little regard for anything besides self-satisfaction.

…But, you know, that’s hard to market, so we’re calling them Maple Bacon Funyuns Treats instead, and we’re going to tell you that they’re fun, and wacky, and it’s okay for you to indulge, and then we’re going to hope that you skipped right to the end of this post.


Maple Bacon Funyuns Treats

Maple Bacon Funyuns Treats - maple marshmallows, funyuns, and bacon bits dipped in peanut butter and chocolate.

Together, this strange combination creates something unexpectedly magical: gooey, salty, maple flavor with the occasional punch of bacon. They’re perfectly salty-sweet, like maple syrup on breakfast, or like wrapping a Reese’s Cup with bacon (wait, why haven’t we done that yet?!). If you’re into salty-sweet, or if you often have trouble deciding between eating a meal or eating dessert, we recommend you make these. They’re the best of both worlds.

Tools:

  • 9-by-13 inch glass baking pan
  • Parchment paper
  • Double boiler

Ingredients for the Treats:

  • 9 oz. of Funyuns (about 1 and 1/2 family size bag)
  • 1/2 recipe of maple marshmallows
  • 10 strips of bacon, pan fried until crispy and roughly chopped

Ingredients for the Chocolate-Peanut Butter Coating:

  • 1 lb. chocolate-flavored candiquik
  • 1/3 cup of creamy peanut butter
    • We recommend that you don’t use the natural (separated) kind – it doesn’t set as well.
  • 2 oz. of dark chocolate – 70% cocoa or higher
  • 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)

Maple Bacon Funyuns Treats - maple marshmallows, funyuns, and bacon bits dipped in peanut butter and chocolate.

How to Put This in Your Mouth:

OPTIONAL: In a cardboard box, hide away your self-restraint health concerns.

REMINDER: Make sure and cook the bacon first!

  1. Line a 9×13 inch glass baking pan with parchment paper so there is a 2-inch overhang, then grease the paper lightly.
  2. Heat a large pot over medium-low heat – no oil or butter needed.
  3. Crush up the Funyuns into small pieces – it’s not an exact science, and they’ll get crushed up more as you stir them in the pot, so don’t worry about how big or small. Just use your judgement.
  4. When the pot is warm, add the Funyuns and stir until warmed.
  5. Add the bacon and the marshmallows. Using a rubber spatula or wooden spoon, stir for about 10 seconds.
  6. Turn off the heat and continue stirring until marshmallows are thoroughly melted.
    • NOTE: I know you want your marshmallows to melt faster, but if you heat up the sugar too high, your treats will lose their ooey gooey texture and become stiff. Try and be patient!
  7. Place your treats into the lined 9×13 pan and place another piece of parchment paper on top. Press down on the treats until they’re evenly distributed.
  8. Let them sit for 45 minutes.

For the Coating:

  1. When your treats are cooled, cut into squares.
  2. In a double boiler, heat the candiquik until mostly melted. Add the peanut butter, dark chocolate, and cayenne pepper, then stir until incorporated.
  3. Dip your treats halfway into the mixture – or more if you’d like!
  4. Place on parchment paper and let set for 20 minutes. Or don’t. (We may have neglected that step…)

And there you have it – you’ve made the ultimate in Frankenstein-type foods. Try to be proud of your gluttony; it’ll save you from that empty feeling you get after you finish the whole pan.

Enjoy?


Master List of Ingredients:

Tools:

  • 9-by-13 inch glass baking pan
  • Parchment paper
  • Double boiler

Ingredients for the Treats:

  • 9 oz. of Funyuns (about 1 and 1/2 family size bag)
  • 1/2 recipe of maple marshmallows
  • 10 strips of bacon, pan fried until crispy and roughly chopped

Ingredients for the Chocolate-Peanut Butter Coating:

  • 1 lb. chocolate-flavored candiquik
  • 1/3 cup of creamy peanut butter
    • We recommend that you don’t use the natural (separated) kind – it doesn’t set as well.
  • 2 oz. of dark chocolate – 70% cocoa or higher
  • 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)

Step-by-Steps:

OPTIONAL: In a cardboard box, hide away your self-restraint health concerns.

REMINDER: Make sure and cook the bacon first!

  1. Line a 9×13 inch glass baking pan with parchment paper so there is a 2-inch overhang, then grease the paper lightly.
  2. Heat a large pot over medium-low heat – no oil or butter needed.
  3. Crush up the Funyuns into small pieces – it’s not an exact
    science, and they’ll get crushed up more as you stir them in the pot, so don’t worry about how big or small. Just use your judgement.
  4. When the pot is warm, add the Funyuns and stir until warmed.
  5. Add the bacon and the marshmallows. Using a rubber spatula or wooden spoon, stir for about 10 seconds.
  6. Turn off the heat and continue stirring until marshmallows are thoroughly melted.
    • NOTE: I know you want your marshmallows to melt faster, but if you heat up the sugar too high, your treats will lose their ooey gooey texture and become stiff. Try and be patient!
  7. Place your treats into the lined 9×13 pan and place another piece of parchment paper on top. Press down on the treats until they’re evenly distributed.
  8. Let them sit for 45 minutes.

For the Coating:

  1. When your treats are cooled, cut into squares.
  2. In a double boiler, heat the candiquik until mostly melted. Add the peanut butter, dark chocolate, and cayenne pepper, then stir until incorporated.
  3. Dip your treats halfway into the mixture – or more if you’d like!
  4. Place on parchment paper and let set for 20 minutes. Or don’t. (We may have neglected that step…)

Enjoy!

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